Bill Tanzey • Associate Pastor of Community Ministries

The Ten Commandments for Husbands


Commandment #1: You shall not take your wife for granted. (1 Peter 3:7)

Husband, are you treating your wife as the equal partner that she is? Does she feel that you are granting her your highest honor? Do you realize if you don’t honor your wife, your prayers will be hindered?

Commandment #2: After God, your highest allegiance shall be to your wife. (Genesis 2:24)

A recipe for disaster in any marriage is if the husband honors his family, career, hobby, or friends higher than his wife. God’s plan is for man to “leave” his family and “cleave” to his wife. This “cleave” is intended to be tighter than super glue.

For Today: Married or single, write a list of what “honoring” a wife would look like.


Commandment #3: You shall always tell your wife how important she is. (Proverbs 31:10-11)

God wired woman to expect unconditional love from her husband. Husbands, does your wife feel that she is your prized possession and crown jewel? A good wife is a good gift from our great God.

Commandment #4: You shall never stop romancing your wife. (Song of Solomon 5:10-16)

You see, marriage isn’t a goal met; it is a journey begun. Men, if that match of romance has burned-out, re-light it again!

For Today: List the characteristics of a wife from. (Proverbs 31:10-11)


Commandment #5: You shall not neglect your role in discipline. (2 Timothy 3:15; Ephesians 6:4)

Fathers are not to be absent landlords in discipline matters. Many fathers divest themselves of that responsibility, which isn’t healthy for any family member. When this neglect happens, the children feel rejected, and the wife feels alienated.

Commandment #6: You will stay true in the little things and big things. (Matthew 5:37)

Jesus instructs all Christians, “Let your words be ‘Yes, yes or No, no’, and anything beyond these is evil.” (Mt. 5:37). This is particularly true for husbands. Wives have to know in their hearts that their husbands’ words are true.

For Today: Look up “truth” in you Bible’s index, and repeat 3 verses that have to do with speaking truth.


Commandment #7: Keep your eyes on your own wife, not your neighbor’s. (Proverbs 5:15-20)

“Drinking water from your own cistern” and the conjunction of “your fountain” and the “wife of your youth” calls for husbands to both avoid adultery and imagine how he would feel if his wife were to be sexually unfaithful. Adultery is glamorized today. Yet it remains a great poison of marriages. Train your eyes.

Commandment #8: You shall try to see things from her perspective. (Genesis 21:12)

In Genesis 21, we see the importance of a husband attempting to understand a regrettable situation from his wife’s perspective. While his and her bad decisions led to this predicament, Abraham honored Sarah by heeding her expressed needs.  He listened.

For Today: Pray for an increase in love and devotion in your or a friend’s marriage.


Commandment #9: You shall not fail to kiss your wife every morning. (Song of Solomon 8:1)

A wife once said to me, “He even loves his dog more than he loves me.” Here in the Song of Solomon, a future bride speaks of her love and desire for a kiss. Somewhere there became a false assumption that affection should decline in marriage. Wrong! Affection needs to grow and prosper. The kiss is the language of love.

Commandment #10: You shall not be stingy with your wife. (Esther 5:3)

Men, how much is your wife worth to you? Does she feel that you hold back the best part from her? King Ahasuerus was married to Queen Esther. Look how generous he was to his wife!  He was willing to give her half of his kingdom! Why? Because he loved and treasured her.

For Today: Perform a random act of kindness for your spouse or friend.